CD REVIEW: STEEL PANTHER – All You Can Eat

Shane | 7 March 2014 | Reply

STEEL PANTHER – All You Can Eat
Open E Records (Australia) – Universal Republic Records (US)
28 March 2014 (Australia) – 1 April 2014 (Rest of the world)
Reviewed by Shane Pinnegar
9/10

We’re a hypocritical race. We want a safe, comfortable, sanitised, fun world where nothing bad or ugly happens, and our children are protected – yet behind closed doors we all indulge our vices and desires til our eyes water. Woe betide you if you do so publically though – none of us wants to have to deal with the reality of that!

Steel Panther may be the least hypocritical of us all. They insist they’re singing about their lives – non-stop partying with women and drugs as they live out their wildest fantasies being the rock stars they always wanted to be, and their wilfully over the top offensiveness makes them easy targets for their detractors – you know the sort of thing: they’re puerile, sexist, disgusting, blah blah blah.

The spandexed quartet deliberately bait the hook on third album All You Can Eat, pushing the boat out lyrically and getting pretty close to the line where good taste is but a distant memory on Bukkake Tears, Gangbang At The Old Folks Home (featuring guitar solo from Def Leppard’s Vivian Campbell) and She’s On The Rag,

And that’s kinda the point, really: Steel Panther is every heavy metal and cock rock band ever, all exaggerated 100-fold and served up with an enormous amount of self-deprecating gags and a secretly intelligent wit. Love ‘em or hate ‘em (those are the only two options – and All You Can Eat won’t change anyone’s previously held perceptions of them), they do what they do better than anyone – KISS meets Van Halen with the OTT turned up to 101 – and they’re damn fine players at that.

Their critics will say that the band are treading water creatively, crossing the line into bad taste, and delivering inappropriate content to those too young to emotionally see it for the joke it is.

But they’re missing the point. Musically All You Can Eat stretches out within the hair metal framework, an acoustic flamenco-styled guitar introduces Judas Priest-heavy Pussywhipped; strings drape lavishly all over The Burden Of Being Wonderful; a rocking synth line permeates She’s On The Rag.

At the end of the day critics will criticise, the band won’t care, and it won’t matter one bit to their legions of Fanthers, who will lick up singles Party Like Tomorrow Is The End Of The World and The Burden Of Being Wonderful, Gloryhole, If I Was King, You’re Beautiful When You Don’t Talk and the rest of the record.

At the end of the day, if you aren’t going to laugh at a line like “Girl, you never stop Fucking My Heart In The Ass”, then you may have to ask yourself why you’re so uptight! Either way though, why rain on their parade for living their dream? That’d just make YOU the hypocrite, or worse – a bully… and you don’t wanna be THAT guy!

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