CD REVIEW: STEEL PANTHER – All You Can Eat

Label: Open E Music / Kobalt Label Services

Release Date: April 1, 2014

Rating: 10/10

Reviewed by: Todd “Toddstar” Jolicoeur

Lyrics make the song.  That said, Steel Panther will not be known for writing tunes that will get radio airplay or many weddings, but the fact is they take the attitude of the 80’s metal genre to heart crank that shit to 11.  Just when I thought they couldn’t top themselves with their debut Feel The Steel or the follow-up Balls Out, they drop All You Can Eat.  Disc opener “Pussywhipped” comes across with a killer acoustic guitar piece that quickly morphs into supreme metal.  Once Michael lets loose with a few of his screams and squeals, you know this song is coming straight at you musically and lyrically.  “Party Like Tomorrow Is The End Of The World” is a cool musical soundtrack to the bands party bucket list.  The guitar work is great, but the drumming from Stix really stands out on this track.  You know you are in for a ride when the first sound you hear on “Gloryhole” is that of a zipper being done up… or undone!!  This ode to the anonymous blowjob has a cool groove that is accentuated by Satchel’s riffs and lead guitar parts.  “Gangbang At The Old Folks Home” is a great track that tips its hat to Van Halen lyrically, as well as musically, especially the lead vocals.  Lexxi and his bass help keep the track anchored and mix well with the drums.  Lyrically, “Fucking My Heart In The Ass” is one of the best ‘quit fucking me over’ songs.  The drums and bass pound while the guitar chugs along to the rhythm set forth by the anthemic chorus and vocals.  This song was made to be played live.

“Bukkake Tears” is a beautiful musical piece that tells the story of a love filled facial.  The vocals on this track, stand out, especially when the background vocals kick in at the chorus.  The guitars, bass, and drums are loud enough to call this rock, but muted enough to keep this in the rock ballad category.  Another track that borders on rocker and ballad is “The Burden Of Being Wonderful.”  The guitars on this track are the best work I have heard from Satchel in any of the bands catalog.  This song is the epitome of what made 80’s glam rock and metal great.  “You’re Beautiful When You Don’t Talk” slows the tempo (as much as any Steel Panther song slows down), but is far from a ballad.  The guitar work here is top notch.  “Ten Strikes You’re Out” has a cool bluesy feel and groove to it that gives this song a little extra swagger which gives the disc an added dimension from the typical cock rock feel of their music.  “B.V.S.” [Big Vagina Syndrome] sounds cool and features more great guitars and drums, while the bass line keeps the song heavy on the bottom end.  The vocals really give this track an extra kick that builds the sound up until the last note.  “If I Was The King” is a straight forward rocker that has a cool bass line that leads the track.  The pings and squeals are a nice touch that give this song that classic 80’s sound.  Closer “She’s On The Rag” drives this disc to a successful close.  The drums shift tempos and feature some cool fills that are accentuated by the guitar riffs and the vocals.  There is certainly ‘all you can eat’ on this sexually charged rock album that once again proves how talented these guys are as musicians.  I’ll have seconds of Satchel’s great riffs, Michael’s killer vocals with another side of heavy bass from Lexxi and skin pounding courtesy of Stix.

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Category: CD Reviews